If you are anything like me you have known for a long time that you want to be a mother. This raises other questions though, such as when is the right time to have a baby?
I don’t know how many people have asked me this same question in the past. I get this question from family and friends, and I am honest with them, I don’t know when the right time to have a baby is.
You have to look at several factors.
Are you financially stable? Having a baby is expensive, even if you try to save money by breastfeeding, using cloth diapers, and avoiding useless baby products. You have to consider the time you will take of work after having a baby, the cost of daycare if you are going back to work, the cost of clothes, and hospital bills. This is not including any time you have to take off because of a sick child and the doctors bills from a sick child.
Are you a good decision maker? Having a child comes with many decisions, some of which are made before the baby is even born. You have to decide how to feed your baby, to vaccinate or not, and eventually, where they will go to school, how you will discipline your child, and so much more. If you are an indecisive person you should sit down and think about some of these choices you will have to make. I am not saying you have to have all the choices made up before you have a baby, but if you struggle at making decisions you need to start thinking about some of them ahead of time.
Are you mentally and emotionally stable? Having a baby can be mentally and emotionally draining. You have to make sure you can handle the emotions and the mental stress.
Can you control your temper? Babies cry, a lot and for no reason at all. If you can’t control your temper this can become a problem and you may hurt your baby without meaning to. If you can’t control your temper you need to work on it before you have a baby.
Can you provide a stable house? This goes with being financially stable, but you have to be able to provide a stable house for your baby. This is more than just a roof over their head. Will there be people running in and out of the house, can you keep the water/electricity on, will it be clean and free of bugs, will there be drug abuse, and much more. How you answer some of these will determine if you even get to take your baby home from the hospital.
Are you having a baby to solve marital issues? Having a baby is stressful so if you are having a baby to solve marital or other relationship issues, now is not the time to have a baby. Having a baby will only make these issues worse, so solve the issues, then talk about having a baby, together.
Do you still like to party every night? If you still like to go out with your friends and drink every night, you have to consider if you are ready for this to change. I am not saying you can never go out with your friends, but your nights will change and you won’t be going out as often.
Where do you want to go with your career? You have to look at your goals and wishes. If you want to get that big promotion, it may be best to wait to have a baby until after you have the promotion. If you are fine with where you are in your career, then it may be the right time for you. I am not saying that you will never get a promotion after having a baby, but it may take more work on your end.
Do you want a baby and do you think you are ready for a baby? If you don’t want to have a baby yet, then don’t. If you don’t think you are ready to have a baby, don’t have one. Don’t let anyone pressure you into having a baby.
So, with all of this, when is the right time to have a baby?
The right time to have a baby is when you feel you are ready.
You can ask yourself hundreds of questions, save thousands of dollars, and read every book possible, and nothing will prepare you to be a parent. Nothing can prepare you for the joys and the difficulties of being a parent.
There is no perfect time to have a baby.
What do you think? Do you agree there is not right time to have a baby? How did you decide you were ready to have a baby or how are you deciding if the time is right?