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21 Things I Would Tell My Pre-Mom Self

Before I became a mom I had all these expectations of how it will feel and who I would be as a mom. I never really thought about what it would really be like to be a mom. Sometimes I wonder if I would have known two years ago what I know now, would I have looked at being a mother differently? Would I have taken my own advice? I don’t know if I would listen, but I do know what advice I would give my former self.

21 Things I Would Tell My Pre-Mom Self

  1. You know what is best for you and your baby. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do. People will give you advice without you asking for it, so just take it with a grain of salt and keep on doing what you are doing.
  2. If you do have questions, though, don’t be afraid to ask. Just because you ask a question does not mean you are a failure. All it means is you know when you don’t know everything.
  3. Other moms will make you feel guilty. They don’t mean to, but they just do. When you see a mom using cloth diapers because she wants to save the environment for her child you will wonder why you didn’t do that. When a new mom breastfeeds and you didn’t, you will wonder why. When a new mom is bottle feeding you wonder why you don’t just use formula so you don’t have to pump. You feel guilty when another mother makes all her baby food. The guilt goes on and on, but all that matters is that you are doing what is right for you and your family, and you love and take care of your baby.
  4. You will not be perfect. Babies don’t come with instructions, you are learning on the fly. No mom, or dad for that matter, is perfect. As long as you are doing the best you can, you are being a great mom.
  5. Kids can be mean. Your toddler will hit you, your teen will tell you they hate you and so much more in between. Don’t take it personally.
  6. You will be tired. It is expected in the beginning, but there will be days when you will be tired for no reason. Your baby will wake up for the day and you won’t want to get out of bed, but when you walk in her room and she is smiling and says “hi” you forget about how tired you are.
  7. Enjoy the little things. If your little one wants to cuddle for no reason or read a book, take advantage of it because in no time at all they will be independent and not need you any more.
  8. You will feel like a complete failure. It may be because your baby cries for hours and you don’t know why, or your toddler just wants to eat hot dogs but nothing else, no matter what the reason though, you are not a failure.
  9. When you feel like a failure, accept that sometimes there is nothing you can do. Sometimes babies just need to cry, and at least your toddler is eating something, even if it is hot dogs. There will be times when you just can’t win and that is ok.
  10. It’s OK to loose your cool sometimes. You may need to cry with your baby and that is just fine, as long as you don’t shake her or hurt her. You may need a friend to vent to about how bad your day was, that’s OK too. You don’t have to always have it all together. When your done, just pick up where you left off.
  11. It is the hardest job you will ever do. Being a mom is a full time job and you are under appreciated, underpaid, and overworked.
  12. It is also the most rewarding job. Nothing beats seeing your baby grow up and take her first steps or say her first words.
  13. Take time for yourself. Even if it is just a glass of wine in the evening after the kids are in bed, or taking a long bath, you still have to be you, and not just mom.
  14. Speaking of wine, find your drink. Being a mom is hard and some days are harder than others. On those days you just need a good stiff drink, and that is ok.
  15. Take time for your relationship. Being married is hard and when you add kids in the mix it gets harder. Just as you need to take time for yourself, you have to take time for your relationship.
  16. Don’t forget about dad. Being a dad is hard too, and you have to let him take time for himself as well.
  17. No matter how “together” every other mom seems, she is struggling too. She may be struggling with different things, but she has her weak points. Some are just better at hiding it than others.
  18. Don’t worry about your body. You are a mom and you grew a baby. Who cares if you have stretch marks or some extra fat and skin? You performed a miracle and when you look at yourself in the mirror, that is all you should see.
  19. You never knew you could love one so much. It really is amazing that someone can fill your heart with so much love and that love grows more and more every day.
  20. In the end we are all in this together. No matter what we are all here just trying to raise happy healthy kids, so help another mom out if she needs it. Tell another mom she is doing a great job, because it may just be the boost she needs. #SisterHoodUnite
What would you tell your pre-mom self?

Thanks for reading, Cassie

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